Unbelievable day.

Wanted to go celebrate j.q's bdae with the 4H girls but apparantly, someone doesn't want me there. Y.H alr told me about it ytd, and I understood completely. They wanted an all girl's night afterall.

So I finished D.J-ing at about 7 today? Was walking towards the EEE block when I met Arfian and Melv outside the guitar ensemble room. (My bandmates). I asked them what they were still doing in school for and they said they felt it was still too early to go back.

But we did went off after a while. Their words however, got to me. The urge to stay out instead of heading home was apparant. So I sms-ed yy to see if she was still in school. Since it was way too long since I last saw her, I thought, why not meet up and send her to the party or something?

Luckily for me, she was. So I accompanied melv to semb before heading to yishun. On the train, I received a call from an unknown number, and guess who was on the other line? Peh Juin Li. Smiled a bit from hearing that old familiar voice. Short-lived though.

"You're not coming are you?!"

Those words really. I mean, how desperate do they think I am? Since when was I known to crash in uninvited?

Told her I wasn't. And guess it wouldn't be appropriate to tell her that it was nice to hear her voice again. Since she was in such a hurry to hang up.

Then guess what, yy smsed me to ask me if I knew I wasn't invited. Like... god damn it. I just didn't felt like explaining anymore.

When we eventually met..
Me: "Hey. (: So how're yo.."
Her: "GO, like please go now.. they won't like it. Bye."
Me: "I'm not.. sigh, forget it."

And that was that. Not even a proper 2 minute conversation after not seeing each other for weeks.

Sometimes I ask myself, why bother? In this lifetime, it just doesn't pay to even miss your friends anymore. I don't know, it seems like asking for some quality time these days is equivalent to wanting the world.

I don't blame them. Because underneath everything, this would be just one of the many things from the f**ked up life I was born with.

Oh and look, the old man is jobless and STILL smoking *in the damn house*. I'll probably just give myself about 10-20 more years to live before I bid sayonara. Which is a good thing, considering this wonderfully fulfilling life.

You people ask why I don't believe in a god.

... what god?